One thing I see among dog owners that have well-behaved dogs, is that they have a good sense of leadership about them. Not unlike parenting, they know when to say, "No," and they provide a constant but gentle reminder of who's boss. So often, I see people out on the sidewalk struggling with their dog, and often they just laugh off the bad behavior as a result of their dog being so big or just strong-willed.
I learned the art of subtlety with my dog Maya. Now let me explain something here; Maya was nor ordinary dog. She was mostly wolf. I'm not entirely sure how she ended up in our family, but I do know it has something to do with my mom's inability to say no to a furry face in need. Maya was less than a year old and she was rescued from an abusive home where a rolled-up newspaper was the punishment du jour. Consequently, Maya had some issues. (Aside from being just plain wolfy.)
If anyone is going to learn how to be a good pack leader, it would be by having a wolf in your pack.
Actions Speak Louder than Words
Really. You can say so much to a dog without even opening you mouth. In fact, most of the time it was pointless to direct Maya with word commands. Dogs are extremely observant. Therefore, we need to be too. They read your body language and attitude long before you even start to communicate with them. This may seem painfully obvious, but it's something we should remind ourselves of often. I was only twelve or thirteen when Maya came into my life, and she would push me around constantly. We acted more like arguing siblings than as human and companion. And for a good reason - to Maya, I was her sibling. It took me forever to figure out that I needed to carry myself as the dominant half of our relationship, and to not let her push me around. I didn't physically push back, because I didn't need to. I would look her in the eye and calmly assert my authority until she backed down. Dogs are the same way. They know when they've done something bad if you simply say their name in a deep voice and stare them down. It doesn't take much for a dog to feel/smell/see what's on your mind.
You'll Never Be Banned from the Pack
Because of Maya's previous abuse, she was extremely tentative to join our little family. She never really did learn to fully trust men, but in her later years she was less skittish. I guess there are some traumas you can't outgrow. With patience, she finally came around and accepted us as her pack. And once she was one of us, she would howl and jump with joy at the sight of you. Being in a pack is the ultimate family bond you can have. As a result, I will always treat any family dog that way. They didn't choose you from the shelter, you chose them. Consequently, you need to always remember that you are their pack leader and that they will always look to you for guidance. A naughty dog is just like a 3-year-old with a temper-tantrum. They can't express their frustration with words and it's really just a dog's way of saying that you aren't doing your job properly! Their love for you is unconditional, so they can handle you being both stern with the rules and lovey snuggles the rest of the time.
Sometimes You Just Need to Run
Running with dogs is kind of the whole point of this blog, but it is a major point. With Maya being mostly wolf, it was in her DNA to run. I would take her for long runs through the woods and on the beaches. I would tire long before she was even came close to being winded. I'd peter out to a slow walk, and Maya would just look at me like, "Are you kidding me?" In the wild wolves run to survive, and though dogs are distant relatives, it's also in them to need to run. I know people think runners are kind of crazy to do what we do, but I think humans have that ingrained need to run too. For me, a good run brings a sense of calm with it. My brain can turn off for awhile and relax into the rhythm of things. I'm calmer after a run, not because I burned off extra calories, but because my inner pieces have kind of re-aligned. If I can reap the benefits of a long run, just imagine what it's like for a dog.
I know nothing I've said here that is ground-breaking news, but it is something that I learned from experience. There are so many great books out there that go into greater depth on how to be a good dog owner/trainer/leader. It's definitely not a coincidence that Cesar Millan stresses being a good pack leader!
I don't endorse having a wolf as a pet. Ever. They are the ultimate free spirit and deserve to live in the wild that way. However, I owe a great debt to my time with Maya. The things I learned from her have enriched my time with our current dog, Fergus. Though he is a tiny, hairy chihuahua, his instincts are much the same. So for him, I have become a good pack leader and in return he is an awesome little dog.
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